Some of our friends speak confidently in front of others and say, “I know I can do this.” But we may feel embarrassed and lack the courage to try because we do not think we will do well. When this happens, we need to take a moment to examine our self-esteem.
Confidence and self-esteem are different. Confidence is the belief that “I can do this well,” while self-esteem is the belief that “I am a person of worth.” Confidence may rise and fall depending on how well things go, but self-esteem has much deeper roots. We can think about self-esteem in two different ways.
The first is our self-esteem as children of God. God created us, and through faith in Jesus, we have become His children. “But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God” (John 1:12, ESV). We did not earn this identity by being good enough; it was given to us by God’s grace. Therefore, it does not change when we fail or feel small in front of others. God says to us, “Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored, and I love you” (Isaiah 43:4, ESV). As we live according to His Word, we become more deeply convinced that God is with us, helping us and guiding us.
The second is the self-esteem we develop as we live in the world. For some people, this self-esteem has been damaged. Others never had the opportunity to develop it fully. Some even mistake feeling insecure for being humble. Some people set such high expectations for themselves that they are never satisfied with what they do. Others remember past failures and become afraid, thinking, “What if I fail again?” They may be so afraid of the criticism or disappointment that could follow another failure that they do not even begin. Criticism from parents or others, along with constant comparison, can cause them to withdraw even more.
We may also feel small because we care too much about what other people think of us. When we are young, the opinions and judgments of our friends can feel especially important. But what truly matters is not how other people see us, but how God sees us. People’s opinions may change, but God’s love for us as precious and honored in His sight never changes. In the parable of the talents, the servant who received one talent said, “So I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground” (Matthew 25:25, ESV). The problem was not that he had received too little, but that fear caused him to bury what he had been given.
Therefore, we must stop comparing ourselves with others and worrying too much about what they think, and begin with something small. Jesus said, “One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much” (Luke 16:10, ESV). We can begin today with something simple: raising our hand once in class, writing down one task and completing it, or greeting a friend first.
As we make a plan, put it into practice, look back on what we have accomplished, and thank God, the belief that “I can do this” will slowly begin to grow. Paul declared, “I can do all things through him who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13, ESV). If we have completed even one small task, it is not insignificant. It is a precious first step taken with God.
Let us write down one small thing we can do today and begin with that.
