You arrive at a new school or join a new group. You want to become friends with the person next to you, but you do not know what to say. Even saying “Hi” first can be harder than it seems.
There is nothing strange about this. Although some people feel it more than others, everyone feels nervous when meeting someone new. It is natural to feel awkward and cautious because you do not know each other yet.
Starting with a simple greeting or a light conversation to make things less awkward is called “icebreaking.” It means slowly melting the awkwardness between two people through small greetings and conversations.
“Hi, I’m Raju. What’s your name?”
“What did you think of today’s meeting?”
Introducing yourself before asking about the other person is also a good way to begin. You do not have to say something funny or try to make yourself look special. Simply greet the person, remember their name the next time you meet, and listen to what they say. In this way, you can gradually become more comfortable with each other.
But why can even such a simple greeting feel frightening?
“What if I speak to them and they ignore me?”
“What if they think I am strange or judge me?”
“What if they laugh at what I say or tell other people about it?”
We feel afraid because we imagine that the other person will respond badly, even though nothing has happened yet. If people ignored or hurt us in the past, we may become even more cautious because we do not want the same thing to happen again. Our mind is trying to protect us.
However, what we fear will not necessarily happen. Fear is not a prophecy telling us what will happen. It is our mind worrying in advance about the possibility of being hurt.
Sometimes this fear appears as pride. We may keep waiting because we think that speaking first will make us look as if we need a friend more than the other person does, or because our pride will be hurt if the person does not respond. But greeting someone and asking a question first does not lower our value. It means having the courage to begin a relationship.
Everyone has invisible boundaries. We cannot open our hearts and share our private lives with everyone. We can be kind to everyone, but that does not mean we should immediately trust everyone.
Healthy boundaries are like a fence with a gate. We do not allow just anyone to enter, but we gradually open the gate to trustworthy people as trust grows. Becoming close does not mean removing all boundaries. It is the process of allowing each other to come a little closer.
As we talk, we sometimes feel that we connect with someone. Connecting with someone does not mean that all our thoughts and interests are the same. It means that when I open my heart a little, the other person does the same, and we listen to each other with interest as we get to know one another. Even when we have different opinions, a path between our hearts can develop if we respect each other without judging or mocking one another.
However, some people may give only short answers or hesitate to open their hearts. They may be very shy, or they may find it difficult to trust others because people hurt them in the past. Do not conclude, “They must not like me,” because of one cold response. You can naturally greet them once or twice more when you meet again.
If they continue to ignore you or treat you rudely, however, you do not need to force them to open their hearts. Consider whether you may have made them uncomfortable. If you did nothing wrong, do not assume that their response is your fault. They may still have strong boundaries or may not be ready to begin a new relationship. Do not become fixated on one person. Try starting conversations naturally with other people as well.
At the same time, we should think about how we respond when someone approaches us. Have you ever felt upset because you had no friends but then pushed someone away by looking annoyed when they spoke to you? That person may also have overcome their fear to speak to you first. You do not have to tell them everything, but you can show kindness by returning their greeting and asking a simple question in return.
As we grow older, beginning new relationships can become more difficult because painful experiences and familiar ways of living accumulate. That is why we should begin practicing now—greeting others first, observing their responses, and respecting one another’s boundaries. When we need a friend, we should be able to approach someone first. When we need help or cooperation, we should be able to speak first.
Not everyone will become your friend. If someone does not respond to your greeting, it does not mean that you are worth less. You do not need to become close friends with everyone.
Try offering someone a simple greeting today. Courage does not mean having no fear. It means taking a necessary step even when you are afraid.
Let’s Think About It
Am I keeping my heart too closed because I am afraid of rejection? Or am I opening it too quickly before trust has had time to grow?
Who can I greet first or warmly welcome today?
Is sandesh se hame ye jaanne ko mila ki ham khai bhi jate hai koi new tution me ya new school me to hame ghabrana nahi hai hamare sath Wale se ham usko Hi bol sakte hai taaki ham apni batchit aage bada sake.Hamare hi bolne ke baad agar uska reply na mila to hame baat apne ego par nahi leni hai hame ulta apna sochna hai ki hamne ji chiz boli wo usko na pasand aai ho. Hame kabhi ye nahi sochna ki hamare bolne ke baad wo kya karega,ya hamari burai karega ye sab hamare man ke vichar hai . Hame bas aache se baat shuru karni hai or use aage badani hai .
Amen
Pallavi (gorkhpur)
Aap sabhi ko Jai masih ki 🙌🏻🙏🏻
आज के सन्देश से मुझे यह सीखने को मिला कि अगर हमारी पहली बार उस व्यक्ति से मिलते हैं तो हमें डर लगता है हालांकि हमें डरना नहीं चाहिए और हमें हमेशा अच्छे दोस्त बनाने चाहिए किसी से अगर हम पहली बार मिले तो उन्हें अपना नाम जरूर बताएं पहले अपना नाम उसके बाद उनका परिचय लें और अगर दोबारा मिले हम तो उनका नाम याद रखें। और अगर हम किसी से पहली बार मिल जाए तो उन्हें Hii जरूर बोलना चाहिए।
आमीन 🙌🏻
जब मै किसी नए स्कूल या कॉलेज में जाते है तो जिससे हमे बोलना होता है हम पहले सोचते है कि वो मुझे इग्नोर कर देंगे या कुछ बोल देंगे तो क्या होगा
इस संदेश के माध्यम से मैं अपने अतीत में चली गई। पहले जब मैं दूसरों से दोस्ती करने की कोशिश करती थी, तो मैं बहुत अधिक पसंद-नापसंद किया करती थी। जो लोग मुझे पसंद आते थे, मैं उन्हीं से दोस्ती रखना चाहती थी। विशेष रूप से, यदि कोई बहुत सुंदर होता था, तो मैं उससे पहले स्वयं बात करना पसंद नहीं करती थी। मैं सोचती थी कि पहले वही मुझसे बात करे।
लेकिन प्रभु यीशु मसीह को ग्रहण करने के बाद मेरे जीवन में बहुत बड़ा बदलाव आया। अब मैं किसी से भी पहले स्वयं बात करने में संकोच नहीं करती। मैंने समझा है कि लोगों से पहले बातचीत करना बहुत जरूरी है, क्योंकि बातचीत के माध्यम से ही हम उन्हें जान और समझ सकते हैं। और जब सही अवसर मिलता है, तो मैं उनके साथ सुसमाचार भी साझा करती हूँ।
मैं प्रभु का धन्यवाद करती हूँ कि उन्होंने मेरे भीतर का स्वभाव बदला और मुझे लोगों को बिना किसी भेदभाव के प्रेम और खुले मन से स्वीकार करना सिखाया।
Aaj ke Sandesh se hame ye Sikh Mili hai ki agar hamen school me ya class me kahi New friend karna hai to hame darna nhi hai hame unse baat karna hai dhimi aawaj me unse baat karni chahiye frist hamara nam batakar bhi ham baat shuruwat kar sakte hai hai hame darna nhi hai first time me Hame apna introduction dena hai ye baat krne ka tarika bhi sahi hai
Hame friend banane ke liye samne wale insan ka intezar nhi karna hai aur hamare dimag me kahi bar ye khyal aata hai ki pahele hame baat karne se hamari image daun ho jayegi aisa nhi hota hai Agar hamen kisi se baat krni hai to Bina date karni chahiye
This is such a beautiful message. Sometimes we hesitate to make friends or feel afraid to start a conversation with someone. We feel this fear because we imagine that something might go wrong, but things don’t always turn out the way we think.
We can simply start a conversation by saying Hi. We don’t need to be overly funny or entertaining. In the next meeting, we can remember their name and continue the conversation from there.
Thank You, God, for this beautiful message and for teaching us how to start a conversation and build connections with others.
Amen.
Jay masiki 🙏🏻
Mera man Priti Meshram hai
Muze sandesh ye Sikh mili hai ki hme dusre vekti ke sath kaise batchit karni chahiye or unke sath kise vevhar Krna chahiye uski survat kis prakar karni chahiye or hme hr bat me pita parmeshwar ka dhanyawadi hona chahiye thank you 😊
mene mbstudy se sikha ki agar koy hamare sath bura kare ya hamre baare me bura bole to hame uska jisa bartav nahi karna hai or hame uske liye prathna karni chaiye hame ek dusre ka smaan karna chahiye Amen
Hame yeh Sikh milti hai ki hame kisi ke pass dosti ka hath badhakar ham chote nahi ho yeh bas hamari soch hai ki ham dosti karne se dar rahe hai