We love each other. We may have known each other for a long time. But sometimes we still hurt each other and fight. Why does this happen?
When we have relationships with other people, we learn some basic manners. We do not call someone too late at night. We do not keep interrupting when someone is speaking. We do not keep touching or tapping someone while we talk. When we are angry, we do not point our finger at someone’s face. We ask before using someone else’s things. We also do not ask very personal questions carelessly.
It is important to know and follow these basic manners. But there is something more important than simply knowing rules such as, “What time is too late to call?” or “How should I speak and behave?”
The foundation of good manners is respect for others.
To respect someone means to understand that just as I have boundaries, the other person also has boundaries.
There are boundaries around our bodies. Even if we are close to someone, we should not touch or tap that person if they do not want us to.
There are also boundaries around our time. I should not call someone anytime I want just because I want to talk. I should also think about the other person’s time and daily life.
There are boundaries around our belongings. Being close to someone does not mean that we can use their things or look at their phone without permission.
There are also boundaries in our private lives. Just because I am curious, I should not keep asking about something the other person does not want to talk about. I should not go too deeply into someone’s personal life.
And there are boundaries in our hearts. If we keep bringing up someone’s weaknesses or past mistakes, or keep demanding that they think and act the way we want, we can deeply hurt that person.
Then does this mean that we should keep our boundaries and stay far away from one another?
No.
Imagine that you visit a friend’s home. At first, you sit and talk in the living room. Even if your friend welcomes you warmly, you do not enter the bedroom without permission. You do not open the refrigerator or drawers whenever you want.
But as your relationship becomes closer, your friend may say, “Make yourself at home. You can take anything you want from the refrigerator.”
Now there is more that you can share together.
Relationships are similar.
At first, we are careful with each other. But as trust grows, we slowly open our hearts and share more of our lives. We share our thoughts and concerns, and we help each other.
A good relationship does not mean that all boundaries disappear. It means that we respect each other’s boundaries while gradually sharing more of our lives with each other.
Problems begin when we think that being close gives us the right to enter areas that the other person has not opened to us.
Loving someone does not mean that every part of that person’s life belongs to me. Because I love that person, I respect their boundaries. This is respect and consideration.
We can easily forget this, especially in our families and closest relationships.
We may think, “This is my child,” “This is my husband,” “This is my wife,” or “We are so close,” and then begin to speak or act carelessly.
But being a parent does not give us the right to treat our child’s body or heart carelessly. Being husband and wife does not mean that we can control each other’s thoughts and feelings. Being older or having a higher position does not give us the right to disrespect others.
The closer we are to someone, the more we should respect them.
The Bible does not see this simply as a matter of manners. It sees it as a matter of love.
“Love does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking.” (1 Corinthians 13:5)
Love does not say, “I will do whatever I want.” Love thinks about and respects the other person.
Today, think about the people who are closest to you.
Do I speak carelessly to them just because we are close?
Do I enter areas of their lives that they do not want to open to me, just because I love them?
The foundation of good manners is respect.
Respect means recognizing each other’s boundaries.
Love does not carelessly break those boundaries. Love respects them, builds trust, and gradually shares more of life together.
हम अपने प्रिय लोगो को ही क्यो दुःख पोहोचाते है.
इस संदेश मैने पडा. और मै समझ पायी हू कि जो लोग हमारे करिबी होते है हम उनकाही दिल दुखाते है उनका आदर नही करते उनका सम्मान नही करते वो इसीलिये कि वो हमसे जादा प्रेम करते है.
मान लो हमारा करिबी दोस्त है हम उनके घर जाते है और वो केहता है कि आप जाओ और फ्रीझर मेसे पाणी कि बॉटल लाओ.
तो ये क्या सही है. बिलकुल ही नही.
भलेही हमारे करिबी दोस्त हो हम एक साथ बैठते है अच्छे संबंध बनाते है पर हमे उनकी किसी भी वस्तू को छुना नही है.
वसेही ही रिश्ते होते है माता पिता का रिश्ता भाई बेहन का पती पत्नी का बच्होका रिश्ता तो ये हमारा सबसे करिबी रिश्ता होता है.
पर हम क्या करते है इन रीश्तो का अनादर करते है.
एक दुसरोके भावनाओके साथ खेलते है.
विचारोके साथ खेलते है एक दुसरोको समझते नही हम आदर नही करते बल्की करणा होता है.
क्या ये करणा गलत नही है.
और हम अगर ऐसे करिबी रेश्तोका दिल दुखते है.उनको समझते नही.
तो ये परमेश्वर के नजर मे बहोत बडा पाप है.
हम तभी आदर करते है जब वो हमारे लिये कुछ करते है चिझोको लेके देते है. तो ये क्या प्रेम है.
पर अगर हम ऐसे करते है तो परमेश्वर से हमारा कोई रिश्ता नही होता.
मैने हमेशा अपने करिबी लोगोसे प्रेम किया है पर कुछ ने मुझे समझा ही नही. फिर भी मैने कभी बुरा नही माना बल्की अभि भी समझती हू.
पर उनके विचारोसे.
अगर मै अपने विचारोसे समझुंगी तो रीश्तो के बीच दिवार बन जायेगी.
इसीलिये.
ये संदेश मुझे बहोत ही अच्छा लगा.
और इस संदेश के द्वारा मै अपने करिबी रीश्तो को समझणा चाहती हू आमेन 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻❤️❤️❤️❤️
Close relationships still experience conflicts because sometimes being comfortable and familiar with a specific person leads to people forgetting basic manners and violate each other’s boundaries. The foundation of good manners is showing respect and understand their boundaries. Becoming closer to someone does not mean the boundaries disappear rather a healthy relationship develops as the growing trust allows people to open up by their own choice and share more of their lives. Problems begin when we mistakenly believe good bonds give us the right to control or cross boundaries set by the person. We can listen and open up by our choice, be kind and familiar with the person but at the same time we should respect others boundaries and set our own.
सबसे पहले, मैं आज के इस अर्थपूर्ण संदेश के लिए दिल से प्रभु का धन्यवाद करती हूँ। ❤️
आज का यह संदेश हमें एक बहुत ही महत्वपूर्ण बात सिखाता है, जिसे हम अक्सर अपनी दैनिक जीवन में भूल जाते हैं, और वह है दूसरों के प्रति सम्मान। हमें दूसरों की व्यक्तिगत सीमाओं (boundaries) का सम्मान करना चाहिए।
हम अपनी परिवार के लोगों के सबसे ज्यादा करीब होते हैं और कई बार अनजाने में उन्हीं को सबसे ज्यादा दुख पहुँचा देते हैं। क्योंकि हम सोचते हैं कि “यह मेरा परिवार है, इसलिए इस पर मेरा अधिकार है। मैं जैसे चाहूँ, वैसे इसे नियंत्रित कर सकता हूँ। मेरे परिवार को मुझसे हर बात साझा करनी चाहिए।” लेकिन यह सोच सही नहीं है।
हर व्यक्ति की अपनी एक व्यक्तिगत ज़िंदगी और personal space होता है। उनकी अपनी boundaries होती हैं, जिन्हें हमें समझना और उनका सम्मान करना चाहिए। केवल किसी के हमारे करीब होने का मतलब यह नहीं है कि हमें उनकी हर निजी बात जानने या उनकी सीमाओं को पार करने का अधिकार मिल जाता है।
इस संदेश से मैंने अपने जीवन के बारे में भी बहुत कुछ सीखा और खुद को examine किया। मैंने महसूस किया कि मुझे अपने बच्चों की boundaries को भी समझना और उनका सम्मान करना चाहिए। उनकी ज़िंदगी में भी उनका अपना personal space है, और एक माता-पिता के रूप में मुझे उस space और उनकी boundaries का सम्मान करना चाहिए, न कि उन्हें अनजाने में cross करना चाहिए।
आज का यह संदेश मेरे लिए आत्म-परीक्षण करने और अपने व्यवहार को सुधारने का एक अच्छा अवसर बना।
Amen. 🙏❤️
I sincerely thank the Lord from the bottom of my heart for giving me a church where we not only learn spiritual things, but also learn good manners and how to behave respectfully with others. We not only focus on the Word of God, but also learn how to become more educated, well mannered, and better people.
I am truly thankful to our pastor for teaching us all these important things through the messages. This message really taught us about good behaviour and made me realize that sometimes, knowingly or unknowingly, we may start disrespecting the people who are close to us. We may cross their personal boundaries without even realizing it, and because of this, our relationships with them can become difficult.
Today, I examined myself and realized that sometimes I also do this with my friends. I may ask them about things that they do not want to share, without realizing that I am crossing their boundaries. But from now on, I will be more careful and respectful. The Bible teaches us that true love respects one another, does not hurt others, and cares about their feelings and boundaries.
Amen.